I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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