its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
