i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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