Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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