Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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