We named our party play list daddy issues
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
