nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
