i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The best revenge is premature balding
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
