I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
