There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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