Where did you get a picture of my penis
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
