have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize