Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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