I hate all girls vehemently.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize