Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
