I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
