Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
