We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
