Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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