HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
