Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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