I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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