I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The air was thick with penises
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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