I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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