just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
