I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
