Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize