Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
