maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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