There is no way he is gay with that hair.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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