How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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