epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just high enough for therapy.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
