He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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