Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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