i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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