whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
