What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I need mimosas to revive my soul
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
