Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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