I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
