This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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