porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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