We're like a lot better than the average bears
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
