Nicole vs. Life
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
