You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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