im having a threesome with these popsicles
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
