Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize