Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize