once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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