Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Betty ford says i'm here all night
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
