walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
