Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He? As in you personified your dick?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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