I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
