I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
