All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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