Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
