So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
So apparently I’m into choking now
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
