Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
