Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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