hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
