Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
