After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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