Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
