There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
