I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize