i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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