You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
