you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
