I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
