I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize