I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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