i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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