i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
